Everything Is Okay
by Caroline Crilley
One of the cruelest things in life is how everything is okay.
No matter what horrors occur, the tides keep turning.
Even when my insides shatter, the clock keeps ticking.
Except time lost its rhythm, it gets stuck now or slips away.
On the edge of the abyss, I fold the laundry.
Free falling through ether, I head to work.
I cave in behind a flawless facade, acting out the motions of my life.
Pretending everything is okay, because it is.
Despite dark remains in watery shadows, and wordless whispers in my head.
The moments echo endlessly, extending seconds into days,
And I’m still pretending everything is okay.
At this moment, my body is safe.
The clock is ticking.
People smile as they walk by,
Because everything is okay. But it shouldn’t be.
I should be screaming, you should be screaming, the world should be screaming.
One of the most beautiful things in life is how everything is okay.
My small body endured things that no one ever should.
My suffering an edge that cuts to my core, letting beauty spill out free.
There is power in knowing how much I can take.
Power in finding a limit, then feeling past it,
Discovering depth and vastness within me that rivals the ocean herself.
My waters churning and plunging then placid as a pond.
But all that cutting leaves a mark.
Look closer and you will see - there’s red in the water.
Something circling beneath, in icy depths below where daylight’s never seen.
And shallow waves that crash and break, ‘til nothing else remains.
If I hold my breath, perhaps you’ll think I'm just a pond,
The warmth of your light reflecting off my surface, like a wish.
A gentle breeze clearing stormy skies as choppy waters settle,
Allowing the sun deeper and warmer, ever shifting, shedding light on what once was full of fear.
Maybe my waters will draw you in, playing in my shallows, exploring through my depths.
Maybe the tides and waves and creatures there will all become our friends.
The shifting shadows taking form and dancing in the sun.
Because everything is okay, it always is.
